What do I want to write, and why do I want to write?  I’ve found myself asking this question a lot recently as I’ve tried to determine my motivations for this blog.  Here’s the answer.  I want to write about life, real life, and I want to connect with people.

Here’s the thing about real life, though, real life is messy and honestly kind of boring.  Of course there are beautiful, exciting, and unfortunately tragic, moments within every life, but most of day to day life is none of this.  This can make it hard to write about and engage people with because we are naturally drawn to the things that fall outside of normal.  We are drawn to the tragic, as we also thank our lucky stars it’s not our own.  We are also drawn to the beautiful and the “one in a million” success stories, as we hold some small hope that maybe we too will achieve such heights.  We are drawn to these stories because these are the stories that evoke strong emotions.  The mundane just isn’t as interesting or compelling.  But the mundane is what I have, and it honestly makes me happy.  Obviously I’m happy I don’t have some horrible story to share and work my way through.  But I’m also content with my little normal life, no fancy success to share.

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My house is frequently a wreck these days.  The sink in the morning is usually full with dishes from the night before, which likely won’t get washed until just before dinner time.  Duplo blocks litter the living room floor, and no matter how hard I try I never seem to be able to find all of the bits of food that get tossed down from the highchair during meals.  I would love to have a beautifully styled coffee table, and a couch with the throw pillows and blankets arranged just so.  I would love to have a cleared dining room table with a clean and simple centerpiece (instead of a pile of everything in the center out of reach of little hands) and a couple of candles, hell, I would love to just be able to have candles that I can actually light anywhere.  But that isn’t my reality.  It does work for some people and that is awesome (tell me your secrets PLEASE! oh, you don’t have a toddler, that explains it).  The truth is, though, while yes, I would love these things, I also love the Duplo blocks and the food crumbs everywhere. It shows me that we are busy living life with an amazing little girl who is growing and learning (and testing boundaries) by leaps and bounds every single day.

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I like to include pictures in my posts, but sometimes I get frustrated and irritated when I look for photos to add and all I have are grainy and blurry iPhone pictures. Or I manage to actually have some on my real camera, but once again they’re grainy because the ISO is so high because the lighting in the apartment was so poor, and the white balance is all out of whack.  But again, I remind myself that it’s better to be in the moment and interacting with my daughter than it is to have a crisp, dreamily lit, and honestly unrealistic photo of what our life is like.  Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge believer and champion of having some of those extra nice types of photos, but when I’m trying to capture a quick moment while also participating in the moment it’s just not always going to be feasible.  I would much rather be participating and getting poor photos, than have the most beautiful photos in the world only to have my daughter have no memories of actually spending time with me.

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So, writing about normal, real life may not be particularly exciting or interesting, but it’s what I’ve got.  If my writing connects with other people, awesome!  If not, oh well, I still enjoy it and that’s all that really matters.

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